


I Brought the Rain and Broke Your Umbrella

by ruxian



Series: Blood Stains and Bruised Knuckles [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scott McCall is a Good Alpha, Scott McCall is a Good Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-02-24 07:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13209003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruxian/pseuds/ruxian
Summary: Theo knew nightmares, he could handle them.Or, at least he thought he could.Until Liam had one.





	1. Helpless

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sad so I took it out on Theo (sorry buddy), but also this idea has been running around my head for months. Not betaed and mostly written in the early hours of the morning, so please be nice to lil ol' me. :) I hope you enjoy!

Theo Raeken was a monster. 

He knew this. He knew that his hands were coated in thick, sticky blood, knew that it stained his teeth and clotted on his tongue. He knew that no matter how hard he tried to get it off, it was permanently dripping off of and staining his skin, tainting everything he touched in a sick sheen of red.

He knew his eyes should burn blue instead of gold. 

Theo knew what it felt like to have someone’s heart stop beating underneath your fingers, knew what the adrenaline felt like when it slithers up your veins and makes your heart race. 

Theo knew that he liked it. 

Well, he thought he did anyway. 

But then he was pulled into a crater in the ground by his sister, and suddenly the blood on his hands burned like acid. 

The lives he had taken, ruined–their names sat on his tongue like ash, but no amount of water would make them go away. 

He didn’t know if he wanted them too. 

Theo knew nightmares. 

He knew what it was like to wake up drenched in sweat, eyes wide and wet and frantic as they tried to differentiate between reality and the hellscape your mind had trapped you in during slumber. 

Theo knew how bad your hands would shake, how your throat would burn and feel like it was one scream away from tearing. He knew how you would choke and gag trying to get air into your lungs, but a gorilla was sitting on your chest and beating your head and everything hurt and you couldn’t tell what was real and–

Theo knew. 

Theo knew better than most. 

He also knew he deserved it. 

He knew that, now.

He knew he deserved to rot, deserved to have his sister take back what was hers and avenge everyone he’d ever raised a bloody claw to. 

When he told her she didn’t have to stop, he meant it. 

He wanted her to, desperately, but Theo Raeken was a selfish creature by nature. Just because it needed to happen, just because it was what he deserved, didn’t mean he wanted it. 

He didn’t want to be terrified of the hospital, or have his (her) pulse shoot through the roof anytime someone’s fingers got a hair too close to his chest. He didn’t want to struggle with these new emotions and what they all meant, didn’t want his already hairpin-trigger temper to become even worse. He didn’t want the flashbacks, the dissociation, the impulsive decisions that meant he threw himself head-first into danger even when every fiber of his being was screaming at him not to. 

But he took it. He took it all because he was a monster. He was the thing that went bump in the night and hid under your bed, claws grabbing at your ankle and floating in the shadows waiting to strike. He was followed by the stench of death and fear, he was the reason why rooms felt colder and hairs rose on the back of your neck, he was the reason you locked your windows at night and buried your head under the covers. He was the reason for having a dreamcatcher and sleeping pills.

But monsters got nightmares, too. 

Theo knew this. 

And recently, Theo had come to know what kindness was. 

He had come to know what it was like to have someone treat him with care. What it was like to have a gentle hand on his shoulder, one to ground, not hurt. What it was like to wake up in a panic and have someone there to help bring him down from the cliff’s edge and show him that it was over, he was safe. 

Theo had come to know what it was like to have someone sit with him and remind him how to breathe. Someone who silently held a box of tissues for him but didn’t baby him, didn’t treat him like glass. 

Theo didn’t think he could handle being treated like glass. 

But Theo could handle the same question (“Do you want to talk about it?”), giving the same answer (“No.”), and getting the same in response (“Okay. Let me know if you change your mind.”). 

Theo could handle going back to normal in the morning. Theo could handle pretending he didn’t just cry his eyes out in front of Liam just hours before, he could handle their bitter arguments about anything and everything, even when they turned violent and he had to reset his nose for the third time that week. (Liam always apologized, draining his pain and helping him realign it. Theo thought it was too much.)

Theo could handle the silent agreement. He could handle being quiet so he didn’t wake Liam’s parents, Liam’s parents who didn’t know about werewolves, or that the poor homeless boy they had pseudo-adopted was a creature made to kill. 

Theo could do that; he was a damn good liar.

It was like a habit, at this point. To say what was easy, but not necessarily true. 

(Oh, but he was trying. He was ripping himself to shreds trying to be honest, to be good.)

It was easy to pretend the guilt of his actions wasn’t weighing him down, forcing him to his knees, making every breath near impossible. Like it didn’t stab him through the chest to see the pure hatred on the faces of those he had hurt and betrayed, those who didn’t trust him (and they shouldn’t; no one should trust a monster). 

It was easy to pretend that he didn’t want to go to Scott McCall, begging on his knees for his forgiveness for so long his kneecaps shattered under the pressure. To tell him he was wrong, he was always wrong and if he could he would take it all back before he could even blink. To tell him how sorry he was, how sorry he was that he hurt Scott’s pack, his sister, everyone. To tell him how hard he was trying to be better, and to please, please, just tell him how he can make it better, he’d do anything Scott asked (anything but going back there, to his sister. Anything but that).

Theo knew nightmares, he could handle them. 

Or, at least he thought he could. 

Until Liam had one. 

Liam, a boy barely seventeen with an unmatched rage and heart the size of his home. Liam, a boy who had taken on battles with evil no person should know and came out the victor. 

Liam who would yell and threaten and punch him, but would be the first to jump to his defense, or to shove him out of harm’s way. 

Liam, who had brought him back from Hell; who had given him a chance. 

. . .

Sleepless nights weren’t a strange occurrence for Theo. Quite the opposite, really. He had found that staring out of his room’s window, up at the stars and moon and trees was more calming, more restful than sleep. It was so easy to just let his senses drift, to let his inner beasts roam his veins and muscles as he just existed. 

It was easy to pretend that he was untouchable, that Tara couldn’t find him like this – couldn’t touch him. It was easy to believe the wolf and the coyote roaming his veins kept him safe and sound from her clutches, even when that was the farthest thing from the truth (but he was a good liar, so it was okay). 

He wondered what it would look like if someone who didn’t know what he was were to walk in on him. Would they be scared of the predatory stillness his body had adopted? Scared of the way his eyes, golden and bright, locked onto the treeline and didn’t move? The way his breath was so shallow and quiet, it was almost as if he didn’t breathe at all. 

He wondered if they would be half as terrified as he was when he heard Liam’s pulse sky-rocket. 

Theo was on his feet before he could even process it, wolf howling in his chest, darting down the hall to Liam’s room in the time it took for him to inhale a single lungful of air. The door was, thankfully, unlocked, though perhaps he had put a little bit more force into opening it than he should’ve. 

It was a testament as too how far deep into the throws of his nightmare that Liam didn’t react to his bedroom door slamming a dent into his wall. 

Theo rushed over to Liam, calling his name and placing a firm but gentle hand on his shaking shoulder, just as the other had done for him so many times before. 

Wrong move, apparently. 

It turns out that Liam was much the same in sleep as he was when awake: strike first, ask questions later. 

The werewolf was on him in a second, pinning Theo to the ground, eyes blazing gold and a heartbreaking, terrified, but oh so angry roar coming from his throat. There was something missing in Liam’s eyes that told him he wasn’t quite conscious, Theo was able to place that quickly.

While Liam had the advantage of strength, Theo had the advantage of being fully awake and quicker in a fight. 

The chimera placed a kick to Liam’s stomach, sending him off into a dark corner of the room and buying Theo time to stand and brace for another attack. 

An attack that never came. 

Instead, Liam had curled himself into a small ball, claws digging into his arms to the point of drawing blood. His fangs mashed together with a terrible grinding sound, whimpers and whines escaping through the small gaps. 

He looked terrified, and Theo had no idea what to do. His wolf whined in distress, pacing in his head as he desperately tried to think of something.

He was painfully familiar with Liam’s position, however it was usually him that wasn’t quite aware of the world, and he didn’t even know where to start bringing Liam out of his own head. He didn’t know how Liam did it for him, only that once he woke up there were hands either on his arms, or fingers wrapped around his own, squeezing a gentle reassurance. 

It was as good a place as any to start.

Taking a deep breath, Theo slowly, carefully, approached the werewolf, crouching down to his level. 

“Liam…” He didn’t know his voice could get that quiet. 

“Liam…” Again, but firmer. No reaction. 

“Liam.” This time, he dared to put a hand on Liam’s arm, something that in hindsight wasn’t a very good idea. 

Liam swung razor sharp claws at him, and Theo wasn’t quick enough this time to dodge them. 

Scrambling away, he held a hand to his face, feeling, and a millisecond later, smelling, the blood falling down his left cheek. The skin was split fairly deep, but thankfully Liam had only managed to get him with three of his claws, and Theo could already feel the wounds slowly start stitching themselves back together. Not for the first time, he wished he were a real werewolf instead of a glorified science experiment so he would heal faster. 

Theo sat back, leaning on his right hand as he wiped at his face with the other. His chest was heaving in surprise, but really, it was Liam and he should have known better. Giving up on staunching the flow of blood, he turned his gaze back to Liam. 

He wished he hadn’t. 

The werewolf was clawing at his head now, as if that would stop whatever it was that was plaguing him so badly. There were tears flowing freely down Liam’s face, breath shuddering and desperate as his body tried to get enough Oxygen. Somehow, he had curled in even tighter than before, but unlike earlier, he was saying words instead of just whines. 

“Scott…” Theo’s heart stopped. _No…_

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I-I didn’t mean to! Scott! I’m so sorry…! Scott…!” Each word came out more pained than the last, every syllable breaking and choking Liam from the inside out. 

He didn’t have to have Lydia’s brain to know what it was Liam was seeing.

Theo couldn’t breathe. His stomach was at his feet but somehow there was bile in his throat. He could feel it, the blood, hot and thick and tacky as it ran down his arms and fingers all over again. Scott’s blood. It was only Scott’s blood on his hands now and it burned him down to the bone. 

He wanted to scream. He wanted to scream and cry and roar because this was all his fault. He had done this, he had manipulated and put all the pieces of the puzzle together for this to happen. It didn’t matter why, it didn’t matter when. No matter how many months had passed he had still hurt Liam so deeply he had nightmares about it. He hurt Liam, he hurt Scott, and all he wanted to do was die.

In that moment, he would have welcomed Tara with open arms. 

But Tara wasn’t there to give him his just desserts. Liam was. Liam was there, and he needed his help, so there was no time to wallow in his sins. 

Stumbling to his feet, Theo let out a bitter, watery laugh. It sounded cruel and twisted, and he thought that was fitting for him. It was no wonder that Liam had attacked him like that, really. 

After all, it makes sense to want to hurt the monster that hurt you, right?

On a good day, Theo was graceful, intimidating, deadly. At any given time he was the most dangerous thing in the room, but right now he felt so utterly helpless and weak he hardly knew what to do with his own limbs. Still, he forced them to work long enough to get him back into his own room, fingers groping his bedside table until he came across his phone. 

He almost broke the screen typing in his password, and as he scrolled through his few contacts, he thanked his lucky stars and all the Gods he didn’t believe in for two things:

First, that Liam’s parents weren’t there that night, instead away on a couple’s retreat for the next three days. 

And second, that Scott McCall was in town.

Theo jammed his thumb on the call button, holding the phone up to his ear with a shaking hand and an iron grip in his rage (at himself, always at himself). 

It was all his fault. 

Scott, mercifully, picked up on the second ring. 

“Theo…?” Scott’s voice was raspy and heavy with sleep, but alert, ready to deal with whatever Theo had to throw at him. “Is everything okay? It’s almost four in the morning…” Theo’s mouth went dry at the concern in Scott’s voice. 

_He didn’t deserve that._

Not when it was his fault. 

“It’s Liam.” He heard the ruffling of fabric, and suddenly Scott sounded far more awake than he did ten seconds ago.

“What happened? Is he okay? Are you okay? Where–” _He doesn’t fucking deserve that._

“Scott!” A deep breath. 

Theo clenched his fists, ground his teeth. 

_Be blunt, to the point._

“He’s having a nightmare. Keeps saying your name; he won’t let me near him.” Theo doesn’t want to think about why his voice sounds so small. 

There’s a sigh on the other line. More fabric ruffling, like Scott was putting on a jacket. 

“I’ll be there in five minutes. Damn it… He was doing so much better…” Scott muttered, seemingly to himself. 

“I’ll unlock the door.” Theo said, ending the call before Scott could say anything else. 

Tossing his phone onto the mattress, he pointedly did not think about how he didn’t deserve that, either, and stumbled his way down the stairs. 

After the door was unlocked, the chimera flopped bonelessly into one of the kitchen stools, placing his elbows on the counter and burying his head in his hands. 

Theo took solace in the lingering pain from Liam’s claws, choosing to focus on that instead of the endless flow of pained apologies from upstairs. Anything but that. 

Scott showed up a minute and forty-three seconds earlier than he said he would, and Theo didn’t think he’d ever been so relieved to see him in his life; windswept hair, beat-up denim jacket and Star Wars pajama bottoms that undoubtedly belonged to Stiles and all. It must’ve showed on his face, because Scott made a beeline towards him, a strong hand coming up on his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” 

Theo almost laughed. 

Almost. 

“I’m fine. Not exactly the one you should be worrying about here, Scott.” He made sure his voice was hard, rough around the edges with just a hint of a promise of violence underneath. 

Scott didn’t buy it. 

“No, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be worried about you, too.” The alpha’s eyes flicked to the wounds on Theo’s cheek, making something soften on his face. 

_‘Stop that. Don’t worry about me, please. I don’t deserve it.’_

“It’s healed, now.” Theo growled, on the defensive, though he didn’t know why. 

Scott looked like he wanted to protest, but Liam let out a particularly distressing howl at that moment, forcing him to pay attention to the stairs. Both of their heart rates shot up, eyes burning, and though Theo’s body started to rise from his seat, his mind caught up with movement and forced him back down. Scott took a deep breath, turning back to him and squeezing his shoulder. Something flickered on his face, red eyes jumping between Theo’s for a moment before he nodded once, eyes going back to brown. 

“I’ve got him.” 

Theo didn’t want to think about why that made his muscles relax, made the raging, anxious beasts in his head sit back on their haunches, happy to let the alpha take charge and fix it. He watched as Scott climbed the stairs, two at a time, shoulders squared, an effortless wave of power flowing through him. 

Theo thought that he was stupid for ever trying to steal it. 

It wasn’t something he could take, or mimic, and he had thrown away his chance to bask in it without being afraid. (Except that he didn’t feel that kind of fear now; he felt nothing but comfort and safety and relief, and that thought alone was terrifying.)

He listened carefully as Scott approached his beta, words soft and loving, but somehow leaving no room for argument in a way only an alpha could. He listened as Liam shuffled and growled, sounding more terrified with every breathe. Theo inhaled sharply when the smell of Scott’s blood hit his nostrils, bolting up the stairs before he could even blink once. Skidding to a stop in the doorway, Theo gulped down lungfuls of air, adrenaline running wild through his veins. 

Scott met his eyes briefly, hands on Liam's shoulders, acknowledging his presence with a flash of red before he turned that same burning gaze onto his beta, who still didn't seem to be completely with them in the present. The young werewolf's claws were digging into Scott's forearms, small rivulets of blood flowing from Liam's fingers before dripping onto the fluffy carpet at their feet. Scott took a deep breath, fangs elongated and poking through his lips as his voice rumbled alpha deep. 

“It’s okay, Liam. It’s just me, it’s Scott. It’s okay.” 

“Scott…?” There he was. 

Theo let out a quiet sigh of relief, moving back but still effectively hovering in the doorway, just in case. 

Liam crumpled against Scott, claws retracting from his arms in favor of pawing at his shirt, fingers scrambling for purchase in the fabric so he could pull impossibly closer, sobbing muffled unintelligible apologies into Scott’s chest. Scott in turn clung to the beta, a soft rumbling coming from deep in his rib-cage while his fingers gently combed through Liam's sweat soaked hair. Liam half crawled into Scott's lap, shaking from head to toe as he tried to get as close to his alpha as physically possible. The scent of fear was quickly replaced with the choking stench of guilt, hanging over all of their heads in the form of a toxic miasma.

Scott's eye met his over the top of Liam's head, giving him a small nod, an assurance that everything was alright now. It was brief, Scott quickly turning back and burying his nose against the beta's face.

“I’m okay, Liam. You stopped, I’m okay.” 

Theo couldn't breathe anymore, darting back down to the kitchen and crashing onto the stool, trying in earnest to tune out the pair upstairs. Liam's sobs ripped through Theo in a sick mimicry of knives, each one tearing him into cruel, tiny pieces. Each one making him bleed as payment for what he'd done, his blood for theirs.

He clenched his fists, blunt nails digging into his palms. All Theo could see was Scott’s blood on his fingers, smearing all over the countertop. It was blurry. 

Theo angrily scrubbed at his face, hands harsh and rough leaving his face red and scratched. It just made it worse, tears mixing with his now drying blood and creating an overall mess. He resisted the urge to punch the marble beneath his fingers. 

Instead, the chimera marched over to the key rack, snatching the keys to his truck as he shoved his feet in a pair of Liam’s sneakers with a bit more force than necessary. Just barely, he managed to avoid tearing the Geyer’s front door off its hinges, but it did slam on his way out. 

Theo was gentler with his truck, but not by much. He was surprised (but thankful) that the key didn’t break when he turned the ignition, and thankful again when the gear shift stayed intact as well. He slammed his foot down on the gas, engine howling much like the wolf in his head. 

“It’s alright, Liam. I’m okay. You stopped, Mason stopped you. I’m okay, I promise.” 

“I s-shouldn’t have l-left you there… I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…!” 

He drove until he couldn’t hear Scott’s words or Liam’s hiccuping cries anymore.


	2. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my way of professing my love for Scott McCall and sticking a middle finger up at all of the fic authors that throw him under the bus. :) i hope you enjoy!

Theo wasn’t entirely sure how he wound up at the bridge; he didn’t remember parking his Tundra or walking through the preserve, but here he was, leaning on the railing and staring out into the creek below. 

He didn’t know when the tears had started (or if they had ever stopped, really), but soon they had escalated from silent tracks down his cheeks to full-blown, heart-wrenching sobs. He collapsed to his knees, blubbering and shaking like a leaf as he threw apologies and curses at the world. 

It wasn’t all his fault, rationally he knew that. He had been corrupted as a boy – fed empty promises of power and glory, though the promise of death hung heavier over him like a miasma if he failed or stepped out of line, and his father had never been a kind man –, but there was a large amount of the blame that fell strictly on his shoulders alone. 

Blame that had manifested as a beast that lived in his ribs, clawing and eating him alive from the inside out like a parasite. It tore apart his lungs, sat in his stomach and kicked him, squeezed his heart _(her heart)_ with a black claw, leaving muck, thick and heavy and black like tar behind. That tar was an acid and Theo could never be free of it, no matter how many times he coughed or threw up. 

(He wished it was more than a metaphor. He wished it would actually kill him slowly, like he deserved.)

Theo let out a howl, low and mournful, full of pain and grief and an everlasting regret. His guilt wasn’t just a parasite, it weighed him down and broke his bones and no matter what he did he couldn’t shake it. He could pass it off as anger, since he had that in spades, he could put it into violence and hurtful words. But it never left, never lessened. (A part of him revelled in the anger, a part of his soul lived off of it, and wouldn’t rest until the world had paid for doing this to him.)

The wolf in his mind howled with him, pacing in circles as it cried and snarled through its pain. He could picture it easily: the black fur, piercing golden eyes and white teeth on full display. Blood dripped from its lips and claws, smearing the floor as it walked as a constant reminder of what he’d done. 

He could picture Liam’s wolf, too. 

Theo pictured it as a large and menacing thing, gray and white fur covering incredible muscles. It flashed stunning golden eyes at him, teeth bared and body poised for a fight as Theo absolutely ruined him. Theo planted seeds of poison all around an unsteady animal and stained that white fur red and pink in blood; he had plunged his hands into its plush coat and dug his own claws in without mercy, and now he was stuck with the consequences. He was stuck with the bloody mess of a bed he made, and now he had to sleep in it. 

It was his fault. 

It was all his fault. 

All of the people who he had ruined, killed, just for his own personal gain. 

He wondered how many memories he had dredged up in his quest for power, how many nightmares he had caused. How many sleepless nights did he give Stiles because of Donovan? How many times had he seen Scott cover his chest near him? How many times had Lydia flinched when he moved too fast? How many times has Malia thought about that shotgun? How often does Corey dream about the Nemeton, or Mason the Beast? 

How many nightmares did he give Liam? 

The Dread Doctors were right, he was a failure. 

Failure as a brother ( _“You’re going to protect Tara when you get big, aren’t you Theo?”_ His mother had asked him, eyes a bit too far gone in a wine induced haze, and at just four years old Theo had flexed his tiny arms with a grin and promised he would with all his heart. He failed when he took his sister’s out of her tiny chest.), failure as a friend ( _“Hey! Don’t worry, I know it’s scary, but you’ll be okay! The medicine smells weird and makes my hands shake, and they‘re going to put a mask over your face, but it’s going to help I promise! My mom’s a nurse at the hospital and she always brings me juice after. Ask for Melissa McCall, and tell her you’re my friend! It’ll be okay. I promise.” “Yeah, Scotty’s mom is really nice too! The hospital isn’t as scary when she’s there.”_ Scott had sat and held his hand, explaining what would happen until the ambulance got there, Stiles piling tissue after tissue into his hands when he couldn’t stop crying. He and Stiles even tried to climb in the ambulance with him, pouting when their teacher made them go back inside. Melissa brought him a glass of orange juice and a red Jello cup when he could finally breathe without the medicine, helping him hold his spoon when the Albuterol made his hands shake too much, and she sat with him as long as she could before she was pulled away to help other patients. Scott and Stiles gave him bear hugs the next time they saw him, and he failed them the instant he joined the Doctors.), failure as a human (Scott had never been more right than that night in the library.), failure as a chimera (he couldn’t house the Beast, couldn’t do the one thing he was made for), failure as Liam’s self-appointed protector (how was he supposed to protect him when he was the cause of his pain?).

_‘Failure.’_ A voice in his head said, and it sounded far too much like a Dread Doctor for his comfort. 

_‘Failure.’_ It said again, and this time Theo raised his fist with a shout, bringing his knuckles down onto the old wood. 

_‘Failure.’_ Tara screamed at him from somewhere in the depths of his mind, and Theo hit the bridge again, harder. 

_‘Failure.’_ Stiles shouted, and Theo couldn’t tell if it was his hand or the bridge that cracked. 

_‘Failure.’_ Scott choked out, sounding very much like he was choking on his own blood, and morbidly Theo thought it was appropriate since his own was coating the splintered beam in front of him now. 

_‘Failure.’_ Liam screamed at him, voice full of rage and anguish and Theo screamed right with him, fist colliding with the wood as he sobbed. 

_‘Failure.’_ Crack. 

_‘Failure.’_ His arm was aching now. 

_‘Failure.’_ He couldn’t hold a proper fist anymore.

_‘Failure, failure, failure.’_ Briefly he wondered if his hand could even heal properly at this point. 

_‘failurefailurefailurefailurefailurefailu—’_ Theo’s fist was stopped suddenly by a tanned hand around his wrist, grip gentle but firm and accompanied by a warm and comforting scent that could only belong to—

“If you keep doing that you’re going to break the entire bridge.” Scott’s voice sounded light and soft like it always did, but the undercurrent of concern terrified him down to the bone. 

Mortified, Theo scrambled to his feet, snatching his destroyed hand away from the alpha. He angrily scrubbed at his face with his good hand, trying to wipe away all evidence of his breakdown, but it was too late; his carefully crafted mask was broken now and no matter how hard he tried it didn’t fit properly anymore. 

It should scare him how quickly he could slip on that mask, broken or not, but in that moment all it brought was comfort. 

The wolf in his head snarled at him, teeth gleaming and head down low, throat bared in submission in front of the alpha. Theo could feel its want to please Scott, to be a part of his pack, but Theo was stubborn and didn’t want to yield, didn’t want to embarrass himself further. Still, the wolf, and surprisingly the coyote too, pushed and snarled and growled at him in his mind’s eye until he relented. So, carefully holding his mangled hand, Theo oh so subtly tilted his head to the left, eyes trained to the ground as he bared his throat in a way that didn’t make it obvious. His pulse was pounding, but he hoped Scott would chalk it up to the adrenaline, and not his fear from this small display. 

But, of course the world wasn’t on his side and the alpha saw right through him.

“You don’t have to do that, Theo.” Scott sounded mildly horrified at his behavior, but Theo ignored him and stood like a statue, not a hair out of line. 

His blood was dripping onto Liam’s shoes. 

“What are you doing here, Scott? Shouldn’t you be with Liam?” Theo thanked the God he didn’t believe in that his voice was hard and steady. 

Scott sighed, squeezing his arm so gently it was scary, but for some reason it made the beasts in his head back off and his body relax. Slowly, he turned to face Scott, a bitter expression marring his face. Scott looked terribly concerned, smelling entirely of worry, his own blood, and Liam’s tears. Theo wanted to run away. 

_‘My fault.’_

“Liam’s asleep. I came to check on you.” Scott sounded far too worried to Theo’s ears. 

“Why? To make sure I don’t give someone else nightmares?” He seethed, eyes narrowed at the alpha as he took a step back and yanked his arm free from Scott’s grip. He didn’t like how his voice broke at the end. 

“What? No! I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Scott exclaimed, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. Only now did Theo realize he was missing the denim jacket from earlier, shooting Scott a confused look at both his answer and the missing clothing, which the werewolf quickly picked up on. “Oh, I left my jacket with Liam. He sleeps better after nights like this if he has something with my scent on it.” 

Theo nodded slightly, once again turning his body away from Scott as shame filled every pore he had. He cradled his ruined hand, glaring bitterly at his feet. _This was all his fault._

Maybe he should just jump into the creek below, for poetic justice. Could a chimera freeze to death? Would it be easier the second time around? Would Tara be gentler if he died in the same way she had? 

As he was contemplating diving into the creek to recreate his sister’s demise, Scott quietly moved up next to him, carefully taking his hand in both of his. Startled, he painfully ripped his hand back, staring at Scott with wide eyes. 

Placatingly, the alpha raised his hands, leaning back away from Theo. “I just wanted to see how bad your hand is.” He said, voice soft and gentle. It simultaneously pissed Theo off and made him feel better. 

It make have taken him a second, or two, or thirty, but eventually, he placed his hand in Scott’s. Pain shot up his arm at the motion, but he didn’t dare make a noise or show it; this situation was humiliating enough. 

To have been caught crying his eyes out in the middle of the woods, breaking his hand against his sister’s bridge by _Scott McCall_ of all people was definitely up there as one of the worst moments in his life. 

He watched with unseeing eyes as Scott meticulously plucked splinter after splinter from his knuckles, not seeming to mind the blood steadily coating his own fingers one bit. When Scott started to drain away his pain, however, Theo tried to tear his hand away once more, but this time Scott was having none of it, keeping his right hand around Theo’s wrist in a grip that was just firm enough to keep him there. 

“Don’t…” He managed to choke out, mildly horrified by his own voice. He sounded so broken. 

“It’s okay to ask for help, Theo.” Scott sounded so patient, eyes so terribly ernest and Theo had no idea what to do, what to say, so he said nothing. 

Scott searched his eyes for a moment, then sighed and went about resetting all the bones he could. “I think you might have to re-break some of this once it’s all healed…” Scott muttered, gently pushing around a bone fragment on his knuckle. 

“Why are you doing this, Scott? Why are you even here?” Theo sneered, resorting to his default setting. “You should be watching over Liam, make sure he’s okay…” That guilt and shame was back in full force, almost bringing the chimera to his knees with their weight. 

“He’s okay, Theo. And, like I said, I was worried about you.” Scott’s heartbeat didn’t waiver. 

“You shouldn’t be.” Neither did his. 

“Maybe. But everyone deserves a second chance.” Scott smiled at him, actually smiled. 

“Not me.” He answered, staring straight at his hand. Scott had let it go by now, moving to lean on the railing of the bridge and grimacing when it gave a creak of protest. 

“ _Everyone_ , Theo. I know you’ve been trying, I know you want to be better. I can see it.” Scott was too honest and caring for his own good. 

Theo worked the muscles in his jaw, looking out over the bridge and down to the icy creek below. It took more than a few minutes for him to answer. 

For once in his life, Theo decided to try honesty, too. 

“I don’t think I can go back there, not tonight.” He was too quiet, but he was too tired to pretend anymore. 

“Do you regret it?” Scott asked.

“What?” Theo snapped his eyes back toward the werewolf, brows furrowed and mouth down-turned in a frown. 

“Do you regret doing what you did?” How Scott seemed endlessly patient was beyond him. 

“More than anything...” He whispered, and suddenly Scott was resting a hand on his shoulder. 

“Then go back. Talk to him about it.” 

“He hates me.”

“You really think he hates you?” Scott asked, tilting his head like a puppy as he smiled disbelieving at him. “Liam wouldn’t have practically forced you to live with him when he found out you were sleeping in your truck if he hated you, dumbass.” The alpha shook his head at him. “Just trust me. Talk to him.” 

But Theo shook his own head, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive posture. “Not tonight, Scott. I… Tonight was my fault. I made him do that. Those memories are because of _me_. No amount of _talking_ is going to fix it.” He spat, going on an autopilot mode of confrontational. 

Scott sighed, looking briefly up at the setting crescent moon above them, making another wave of guilt hit him. 

He made this mess and he couldn’t even clean it up, he had to get _Scott_ to do it. He couldn’t help Liam with the same thing he helped him with so frequently. He was useless, a failure, by every meaning of the word. 

“You’d be surprised at how well talking actually works, Theo.” Scott said softly, sighing once more. “At least go and see how he is. If you really feel like you can’t stay, I’ll make up Isaac’s old room for you, so you don’t have to sleep in your truck.” The alpha offered, and Theo took it as the olive branch it was. 

“Your mom would be okay with that?” He asked disbelievingly. 

“Considering she was ready to make you live with her herself after we found out you were homeless, I think she’d be fine with it.” A goofy smirk pulled at the werewolf’s lips, and Theo sighed, indeed remembering the look Melissa gave him after the night in the hospital, and again when Sheriff Stilinski mentioned his poor parking spots. It was like she was about to drag him into her house by the ear. 

“Okay.” He said after a moment, so quietly he doubted Scott would’ve heard if it weren’t for his supernatural hearing. 

Scott beamed at him as reward, one of those light up the world smiles that made Theo want to strangle his past self over for making that smile disappear. 

“C’mon, I’ll walk you to your truck.” Scott stated, patting him on the back as he moved off the bridge with a smile. 

It took Theo a few seconds, but soon he found himself trailing after, the beasts in his head radiating happiness at the display of acceptance from the alpha. He knew it didn’t mean he was pack, or that he ever would be, but it was a start. 

The pair walked in silence until they reached his blue Tundra, Theo wincing at his haphazard parking job as he rounded to the driver’s side, Scott right behind him. 

“I wouldn’t have asked for you to help Liam at the hospital if I didn’t think you’ve changed. But really, tonight just reassured it.” Scott said, hands in his pockets as he rocked back on his heels. 

Theo squinted at him, turning his head slightly in confusion. “What do you mean?” He asked, voice cautious and quiet. 

“Have you looked at your eyes lately?” Scott said, smiling in something that looked scarily like pride. 

He shook his head slowly, but his heart was racing with the implications. _‘Could they really be…?’_

Scott grinned at him, nodding his head at the truck’s side mirror. Theo found himself staring at the alpha for another few seconds, before carefully bending down to look in the mirror. He caught the alpha’s eyes once more, a part of his brain that sounded too much like his sister whispering that it was a cruel trick, but Scott just nodded in assurance. 

Taking a deep breath, or five, he closed his eyes, letting them shift behind his eyelids, before he finally opened them. 

Instantly he reeled back, chest heaving in surprise, pulse surging for a moment before he got himself under control, because there in the mirror were two _electric blue_ irises staring back at him. Looking back up at Scott, he started shaking his head, mouth moving to make words but not making a sound. 

Scott grinned at him, squeezing his shoulder as he walked by. “Goodnight, Theo.” 

Theo went back to staring at his reflection, admiring the blue glow for a few seconds before he whirled around and called out to Scott. The alpha turned on his heel, eyebrows raised in question. Swallowing, Theo nodded a few times. “Thanks.” 

Scott gave him a million dollar smile. “Keep it up.” He said, turning back and walking down the road. 

The chimera gazed back into his side view mirror for a few more moments, gathering all of his courage for the ride back. 

. . .

Theo sat in the Geyer’s driveway for longer than he’d like to admit. 

He had half a thought to just drive to Scott’s house, not even bother going inside, or even better, to full-shift and hide in the woods for an indeterminate amount of time. Neither of those were really an option, though, because inside that house was a beta he cared far too much about, no matter what Mason had said. 

So, he climbed out of his truck and shut the door as quietly as he could, making his way into the house and up the stairs with the same level of caution. He tapped into his hunting instincts to make his footsteps silent, pointedly avoided every creaky step as he slunk back towards his room. 

When he opened his door, however, he wasn’t prepared to see Liam sitting on his bed, Scott’s jacket tangled in his hands. 

“You left.”

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.” 

Liam shook his head, teeth worrying his bottom lip while he looked out the window. “I didn’t want you to leave.” 

He sighed. “I was just making it worse, Scott was there–”

“That didn’t mean you had to leave!” Liam shouted, getting to his feet and tossing the jacket on the mattress. 

“Why should I have stayed?!” He shouted back, stepping towards the beta with his good hand slightly outstretched. 

“Because I wanted you to!” Liam returned, huffing and running a hand through his long hair. 

“Why?” Theo scoffed. “So I could send you further into the nightmare? So you could attack me again, or hurt yourself more?” He asked incredulously. 

“So you could be there after! So I could reassure myself that you’re not like that anymore!” Liam yelled. 

Theo took a step back, fists clenched as tight as he could. “Who says I’m not?” He asked, voice quiet and full of bitterness. 

“Me, you idiot!” Liam snarled, and Theo didn’t know what to do with that. 

So, like always, he sabotaged himself. 

“You should hate me. I made you try to kill Scott. I _actually_ killed Scott.” He didn’t know why he was digging himself into a ditch, but he couldn’t stop now. “I killed my own sister. How do you know I’m not–” Thankfully, Liam’s fist meeting his jaw stopped his mouth for him. 

“Shut up! Just shut up!” The beta yelled, shoving him into the closet door with a bang. The door handle was digging into his spine, but Theo didn’t care. Liam’s eyes were burning gold and another fist was ready to collide with his face. 

Theo closed his eyes and braced himself. 

“I hate what you did!” The first blow wasn’t as bad as he thought, at least his nose wasn’t broken yet. “I hate what you made me try to do!” Ah, there it goes. “I hate what you did to the pack!” He had spilled a lot of his own blood tonight, hadn’t he? “And I hate that I don’t hate you!” This time, Liam’s fist collided with the wall beside his head. 

Theo opened his eyes, confused, and stared at the heaving beta in front of him. Liam still smelled like guilt and the salt of tears, and Theo found that he was promising himself he would do anything he could to make sure Liam never smelled like that again. Gold eyes were boring into him, fangs poking between Liam’s lips, but Theo knew he was in control. 

Liam’s chest heaved, a few beads of sweat forming on his forehead. The werewolf turned, staring at the floor while his eyes went back to baby blue. Theo watched in mild fascination.

“But I know you’re not that person anymore. You haven’t been since I brought you back… And I wanted you here, so I could remember that, but you were gone!” Liam snarled, clenching and unclenching his fists as his claws retracted.

Theo watched as Liam sighed, walking back over to his bed and plopping down on the right side, eyes tracking his movements in the dim moonlight. 

“Just promise me that you won’t leave next time.” Theo decided he didn’t like it when Liam sounded and smelled so hurt. 

“Okay.” He agreed, nodding slowly. “I promise.” 

The beta let out a sigh of relief, letting it travel through all of his muscles as he melted back into the bed, effectively taking over half of it. “Good. Now fix your nose and go to sleep.” 

Theo scoffed fondly, shaking his head and walking over to the mirror to reset his nose. Thankfully, this time it was a fairly clean break and easy to fix. It would be healed in just a few minutes if he left it alone. The same couldn't be said for the wall, bits of plaster falling into the carpet and a gaping hole that surely meant a yelling fit from Mrs. Geyer, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now.

Once he felt his nose was properly fixed, he looked down at his mangled hand and sighed. Scott was right: he was going to have to re-break it, maybe even more than once. He’d get Liam to do it later in the afternoon. 

Turning back to his bed, Theo raised an eyebrow. Apparently Liam had made himself rather comfy, burrowed under the comforter with Scott’s jacket tucked under his head. While it appeared he was fast asleep, the beta’s heartbeat betrayed his state of wakefulness. 

“Do you plan on sleeping here?” He asked with a chuckled, making no move to kick him off as he settled down on the other side of the bed, back against Liam’s under the covers. He didn’t want to admit it, but the other’s body heat was comforting.

“Shut up and go the fuck to sleep, Theo.”

. . .

[Scott McCall, 5:27am]: _need me to set up the bed?_

[Sent, 5:28am]: _No, I’m staying here._

[Scott McCall, 5:28am]: _:)_

**Author's Note:**

> Come bother me on Twitter (@/rux_ian) or Tumblr (@/rux-ian)!


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